Okay, its not really science fiction.

Hm, wait, I’m fucking awesome – I can spin this…

The above is from an alternate history where the Man-Kzin Wars never took place. Rather, early Kzinti space colonists reached our Solar System in the late 1800s. Unluckily for them, a piece of debris in the Oort cloud had struck their lighthugger, rendering communications inoperable and helm controls hampered. Via a heroic feat of mathematical calculation (for cats), they were able to crash-land their vessel on Earth, touching down in the steppes of Inner Mongolia.

From there, the several hundred survivng Kzin quickly changed the course of our history. Their savage and fierce warrior stature impressed the frightened villagers, and they were regarded as visitors from the Celestial Court, come to earth to shape it as their whims allowed. The subjugation of the peasants was an all-too simple task. Within months, the cunning and savage Kzinti had established an empire for themselves, eliminating and replacing local warlords through unparalleled bouts of violence.

After a few litters, the numbers of the invaders were sufficient enough that their sphere of influence extended to Beijing. Young Kzin could now speak rudimentary Chinese, enabling them to govern as well as rule. The alien invaders – not Wong Fei Hung – drove the white devils from China.

When the revolution came, it was spearheaded not by Mao, but Meow.

team9 vs Stereogum – Young Cats (Peter, Bjorn & John vs The Cure) | download