Sorry, cadets – time for this old-timer to dig up some tactics from the hazy, mysterious time known as ‘The Eighties’.

The Eighties were a strange time. Most weaponry didn’t work properly back then – the combined audio damage wrought upon the known colonies had interfered with the magnetic fields of the planets so badly that Rick Astley shot to the top of the charts (and, in fact, to this day several thousands of children continue to be injured when unexploded Rick Asltey videos go off each year).

Luckily, sample-based music production came to the rescue near the end of those dark days. For your consumption now, cadets, a piece of history:

M|A|R|R|S – Pump Up the Volume