I swear to Dawkins that this is not
a recycled picture of Orion’s brother
It’s time for another census update, as the fleet now counts one more passenger. Rocking up at 14:17 on February the 26th, Orion Amélie Haggman* clocked in at 3.75kgs, .25kgs heavier than her older brother at birth (yet she possesses a far more delicate and reasonably-so less pumpkin-sized noggin than him). Whereas I may have once rashly decreed that Tycho was quiet and inquisitive, it took him not much longer than 24 hours to reveal himself as a loutish, yelling brute, while after a week now Orion continues to spend most of her time doing not much else than feeding, sleeping or staring at her hands.
Okay, not always quiet
Many of the differences between this kid and the first are rather more environmental – not surprising, really, that an eight pound lump of flesh that can’t do anything other than cry, eat and poop isn’t all that different from another eight pound lump of flesh that can only eat, cry and poop. By environmental, I mean that having a toddler in the house makes the infant seem like a lot less work than said toddler was at this neophyte stage. Case in point, it’s taken me nearly two weeks to throw this post together (it doesn’t help that my few spare seconds these past two weeks have been whiled away in SimCity, a magical land without hungry babies or destructive toddlers).
Atomique continues to be pro at babies. When push came to shove (har har) it only took three contractions and less than fifteen minutes for the whole show to be over. At least the obstetrician was present for this one! At any rate, all went extremely well and all involved are healthy and well.
Orion, stellar edition
What’s Not in a Name: What Might Have Been
Orion is named after one of the night skies’ most easily-recognized constellations: Orion, the Hunter. It was important to squirt the kid out sooner rather than later, as Atomique has had her eye on this name for decades and it would have been bad form to take the name after NASA officially launches its next-gen space vessel of the same name. As someone very dear to us quite wisely pointed out, it’s also rather fitting that Orion is a celestial equator constellation, meaning it is visible from both hemispheres – fitting for a child of Canadian and Australian parentage.
Amélie is a far less semiotic designator – I just wanted a French name with an accent aigu in it, as I was unable to find a girl’s name in the family tree that took my fancy. Heck, if I have to have an accent in my middle name, I might as well pass that on. In the end, it was mostly Atomique’s choice, as I pissed around unable to find anything suitable and she threw names at me until something stuck. This means Atomique chose both names. What happened to Viper Pilot’s input, you ask? Well…
We had a rule for the name: it had to be something celestial. I was uneasy with Orion as it’s a masculine constellation, and the ladies at work warned me that I would have to have a mighty Amazon warrior-child for a girl with that name, the odds of which weren’t good given the lack of beefcake genes I’d be passing on. I offered the following five alternate names in an attempt to usurp Orion and each was shot down ruthlessly. Probably for the better, but here, archived for posterity, are VP’s choices:
- Polaris: also known as Alpha Ursae Minorus, our current pole star.
- Escher: 4444 Escher, a main-belt asteroid named after artist M. C. Escher.
- Callisto: One of the Galilean moons of Jupiter; third largest in the solar system. (Shortened to Cally?)
- Eris: Dwarf planet in our solar system, named after the Greek goddess of discord. Bonus points earned with any Discordians in the house.
- Dysnomia: Moon of dwarf planet Eris, named after the Greek goddess of lawlessness, who was also a daughter of Eris. (Shortened to Dizzy?)
Oh well, it doesn’t really matter in the end if it’s her mom or her dad who saddle her with a name she’ll have to correct the spelling of over the phone for the rest of her life, does it?
Booking Information & Private Viewings
As with the last model in this line, please contact your local propaganda officer to arrange a meeting with Orion. There may be delays due to the popularity of this product.